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Prompt: *(Verse 1)* Mama put a pile on my plate again Green little stalks from the depths of sin Steamin’ up the kitchen like a sulfur bog Smell hit the room like a wet old dog I said “What’s that?” she said “It’s good for us” I said “No ma’am that’s called ass-per-agus” Tiny little trees from the sewer drain One bite got me seein’ stars and feelin’ pain *(Pre-Chorus)* Ooooh it’s slimy in the middle Ooooh got the texture of a fiddle Left in the rain for a hundred days Why’s it smell like a haunted maze? *(Chorus)* ASS-PER-AGUS Why you gotta taste so tragic? Crunchy on the outside, swamp goo magic ASS-PER-AGUS Everybody says you’re classy But you smell like a gym sock dipped in battery acid nasty *(Verse 2)* Dad said “Son it’s gourmet cuisine” I said “That thing looks radioactive green” Butter on top can’t save that crime Parmesan cheese ain’t rewinding time And then the worst part came around Bathroom trip, horrifying sound Nature itself sent a warning to us “Never trust the cursed ass-per-agus” *(Bridge)* They put it on steaks in fancy places Rich folks smiling with confused little faces Actin’ like they love that bog-water twig Meanwhile I’m gagging like I swallowed a wig *(Final Chorus)* ASS-PER-AGUS You villainous vegetable spear Every single springtime you reappear ASS-PER-AGUS You evil green apparatus The only thing worse than eating you Is smelling you after us 🎸

Created: 2026-05-14T22:53:55.294Z