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Prompt: [INTRO – DISTORTED GUITARS SCREAMING, CROWD NOISE, REVERB] [SLUDGY RIFF] [SCREAMED] YEAHHHHH! ONE! TWO! ONE TWO THREE FOUR! [DIRTY BLUES METAL RIFF] [HALF-SPOKEN AXL-STYLE VOCAL] Mama slid a plate across the table tonight Steam risin’ up in a sickly green light I said “What the hell is THAT supposed to be?” She said “Boy, that’s healthy — eat your veggies.” [PAUSE – GUITAR SQUEAL] I took one bite and my soul left town Taste buds screamin’ while the world spun ‘round Slimy little devil stalks from hell’s abyss Smelled like Satan’s armpit sealed with a hiss [PRE-CHORUS – BUILDING DRUMS] [WHISPERED] Ass… per… agus… [SCREAMED] ASS-PER-AGUS!!! [CHORUS – MASSIVE ARENA HOOK] [DOUBLE KICK DRUMS] ASS-PER-AGUS! YOU ROTTEN GREEN DISEASE! Lookin’ like a swamp weed growin’ in the breeze! ASS-PER-AGUS! WHY YOU GOTTA SMELL LIKE DEATH?! One bite’ll take away your final breath! [LEAD GUITAR FILL] [VERSE 2 – SWINGING GNR GROOVE] Daddy said “Son, rich people eat this stuff” I said “Then rich folks ain’t suffered enough!” Covered it in butter, cheese, and spice Still tasted like a tire fire over rice [SNARE BUILD] Then came the curse nobody discusses The bathroom horror that silently crushes Nature itself sent a chemical attack A biohazard cloud nearly broke my back [PRE-CHORUS – CROWD CHANTS] ASS! PER! AGUS! [CHORUS – HIGHER ENERGY] ASS-PER-AGUS! YOU SLIMY STALK OF DOOM! Smellin’ like a sewer pipe exploded in the room! ASS-PER-AGUS! YOU CULINARY CRIME! Every spring you come around and ruin supper time! [GUITAR SOLO – 32 BARS] [WAILING BENDS] [TAPPING] [FEEDBACK] [DRUM BREAKDOWN] [BRIDGE – SLOW, MENACING] [LOW CLEAN GUITAR] Fancy restaurants serve you on silver trays People pretend they like you anyway Tiny green spears of betrayal and pain Like lawn clippings marinated in acid rain [BUILDING INTENSITY] And I don’t care what the doctors say… Some foods were NEVER meant to be eaten… [SCREAMED] NEVERRRRRRRRR!!! [FINAL CHORUS – FULL BAND, CROWD SINGALONG] ASS-PER-AGUS! THE VEGETABLE OF SIN! Smells even worse when it’s leavin’ your skin! ASS-PER-AGUS! YOU TOXIC FREAK OF NATURE! I’D RATHER EAT A BOOT THAN HAVE ANOTHER PLATE, SIR! [OUTRO – CHAOTIC GUITAR NOISE] [AXL-STYLE SCREECH] ASS-PERRRRR-AAAAAGUUUUUSSSSS!!! [FINAL GONG HIT]

Created: 2026-05-14T22:55:52.637Z